Life Lessons Learned From Fairytales

Tuesday, February 20, 2018


I've always been fascinated by myths and stories of princesses, knights, evil queens and magical creatures. Granted, I've become absolutely obsessed with ABC's "Once Upon a Time" that it's become my newest Netflix binge (how can you not fawn over the gorgeous Josh Dallas??). But besides the beautiful actors, perfectly played roles and fantastically witty dialogue, there's actually a very relatable story line to be found.

Obviously, reality is nothing like the stories found in fairytale books; we can't wake people up from comas with a kiss, and we certainly can't ever expect having knights and princesses come whisk us away. But "Once" surprisingly goes deeper than this fantasy. Each character has his or her own "real world" persona that is far from fairytale perfect. Season one shows us that in our world, Cinderella got her prince with a price: she's poor, works odd jobs to make ends meet, and has to keep his disapproving family out of their business of raising their baby. The Evil Queen--after casting a curse to extract revenge against Snow White--is lonelier than ever, and has an adopted son who finds her colder than ice. Not to mention Prince Charming as the town's golden boy, albeit an adulterer.

To be able to see the storybook characters that I grew up reading about depicted with human "flawsis honestly fascinating. It's a reminder that if fantasy magic existed, it would come with caveats and consequences. Seriously, anytime someone uses curses and potions and enchanted edibles in the show, their problems become even more convoluted. And isn't real life hard enough without having to add the favor you'll one day owe the warlock in exchange for a potion?

The premise of "Once" points out that you don't need knights or sorceresses to defeat your dragons/problems. You can always find courage, love, and happiness in yourself. As a recovering hopeless romantic, I once believed you needed a particular person to have happiness. While I still love love and all the trimmings that romance brings, I know that growing up means growing out of the idea that you can't be happy on your own. You can be entirely open to love and find the person who is your equal, but it's crucial to remember that nobody is put on this earth to complete you. You must be fully ready to face your dragons alone before you invite anyone else to accompany you on your adventures through life and its perfect complications. Consequently, the only person you need to save you from your insecurities and fears is you. The only hero you need is the person looking back at you in the mirror.

Despite what we may have read in fairytales, a real hero is someone who uses his/her word impeccably to speak only the truth and has so much self-love and acceptance--not arrogance--that they can accept the existence/opinion of others completely different from them. True heroes and warriors allow life to occur without taking things personally, always do their best in what that they do, and don't judge themselves if their best changes based on their health or other unforeseen factors. They look within for wisdom and make the choice to be kind and supportive towards themselves so that they may help others do the same. Make no mistake--it takes a lot of discipline and strength to be your own hero in a world full of lies and illusions. Yet, if you show yourself patience and forgiveness, this really is possible to achieve.

The best part about living in this world is that anyone can be a hero/warrior. And with the right people by our side, it helps to live courageously and be open to pure love and light for ourselves and for others. However, we must remember that we cannot save others. We can only love them. If the people we choose to love falter in loving us back or leave, we need not blame anyone. Some people are programmed to choose misery and self-pity, or to control and manipulate others so that they can feel more powerful than those who are self-aware and wish to progress in life. What those suffering beings fail to realize is that the only control worth having is control over ourselves--specifically, our emotions and insecurities. That is key to happiness, and that is where real magic and power lies. Fear is the poison that plagues us, and when some people allow themselves to be surrounded by sorrow, hatred or violence, it is very difficult for them to rise above it and be committed to their own growth.

There is so much life to be found in this perfectly imperfect world that it makes no sense to focus on failure. I know many of us are hurting because of the continous loss of beautiful lives across the country, and there is anger and blame being thrown all around. To combat this fear, we must celebrate the lives of our lost loved ones, be grateful that they blessed us with their presence, and use our strength and wisdom to focus on the gifts that life has given us. When you are centered around your peace of mind, you can think clearly, communicate honestly, and make the best choices to reach truth and justice. Perhaps living a life true to ourselves can be enough, and may end up being the happily ever after we didn't know we needed.
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