Next month I will turn 26 years old. Yet, I never really stopped to think what my 25 years of life on this earth fully entailed.
Here is my attempt at summarizing what I do remember.
I already talked about my childhood in my first post, so I'll just say that being a kid two decades ago was completely different from what it means now to be a kid. And that's fine, because that's the way things go. I'm glad I grew up without a smartphone or constant connection to the Internet, because the sweeter, simpler times are what help us cherish the past every now and then. Working with teenagers also really puts into perspective how high school was both insignificant and important at the same time. Insignificant because things like cramming so much information in one day (most of which you honestly will never use again after graduating), worrying about not having a date to the dance or getting into a fight with your then-boyfriend/girlfriend will NOT matter after you leave that place; but it's important because the people who do stay in your life after leaving will continue to make memories with you and grow with you as long as you both allow it. That being said, my teenage years were a mixed flurry of joy, confusion, pain, and lots and lots of awkwardness and hilarity. Mainly, I think I just wanted to have as much fun as possible while trying to stay on top of my shit. My parents gave me just enough freedom to do all that, and with the right people by my side I graduated with tons of insight gained, but even more unanswered questions.
College was even more fun. I found myself answering many of those questions, all the while searching for more meaning in my life--in any capacity. I was hungry for knowledge and incredibly impressionable, open-minded, idealistic, and adventurous. It was a whirlwind of emotions again, but this time I felt my feet planted in the ground just a little bit more firmly. This was also the time I had to make the big decision of what I would dedicate my studies to, so that I could choose a worthy career and do my part to contribute to society. My idealism got the best of me at times, and I thought I could do it all to save the world. But there was just too much going on at any given time, so I opted for a career that would give me the time to help the younger generation learn from my experiences.
In the past couple years, however, there were definitely times when I doubted myself and the choices I made as a newly titled "adult." I am known to over-think pretty much every aspect of my life, so I got used to criticizing myself about everything. Strangely, though, I felt more and more confident in who I was after each setback. When I realized that I had to fully trust and forgive myself in order to let things and people go, I also realized that the situations that seem so vicious in the moment don't control my life.
Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of my personal bible The Mastery of Love, is completely right when he says that we are Masters of creation. We are creators of the images/thoughts that we come up with in our minds, and those things really do manifest in our waking life--whether they be good or bad. It's only when we shower ourselves with self-love that miracles happen. After reading his book, I wished for things that I never thought about wishing for as I turn another year older: I wished to strengthen my ability to accept myself for who I am entirely; to remember that I am not my mistakes nor my situations; to love myself completely before I can give love to others; and to forgive myself and others to reach true happiness.
I think 25 was by far the toughest year I've faced so far in my life, but I have a really, really wonderful feeling about 26. I will be constantly challenged to grow every day at the new school I teach at, but these experiences and the people I am surrounded by are shaping me to be the best teacher and person that I could be. My family continues to also help me become a stronger and kinder daughter and sister. My friends are my soul mates, guiding me, accepting me, and embracing the person that I am. It's truly an amazing feeling to be genuinely happy with who you are, and I am blessed in having another year to manifest the most beautiful dreams into the reality I know I deserve.